Is Love Enough?

I have been absent from my blog here for sometime now and the longer it is the harder it seems to get back into the swing of things.  I’m sure like it is for most of us I found myself trying to find time to regularly post and in doing so I found myself prioritizing which of course other things shot to the top of the list and my blog dropped to the bottom. This led to my blog posts decreasing in volume until they were all but nonexistent. 

I love my career as a Wedding Cinematographer as I get to witness weekly what the human soul is capable of when it comes to love in what sometimes can be viewed as a dark unforgiving world. I was a child of the 70’s and heard all the time that love was enough to conquer all. Who was I to argue as I was living proof of such a love.

 A young teenage boy who had become a man and a soldier serving his country in Vietnam meets in the most unlikely of places a young lady growing up in a small province in a war torn country trying to find it’s identity.  A highly irregular backdrop but a love blossomed and together their love produced a beautiful baby boy. This left them with a huge dilemma in how were they going to get a newly born child out of Vietnam and back to the states to give him the life that they so desperately thought he needed.  Their family spent the next year trying to find a way to bring that child home to the states from a war torn South Vietnam. A child born to an American soldier and a Vietnamese woman wasn’t an uncommon thing at this time but this story is anything but the norm.  When so many others left their children behind this Father and Mother’s love as well as their strength of fortitude brought their child to this great country where he grew up realizing that love started it all out, but over the years saw another element come into play. Growing up now with a younger sister added to the mix he started to see that his parent’s relationship started changing or for a lack of a better word it started to evolve. With new life challenges, gone or at least reduced were the initial heightened feelings of romance and infatuation now real love would set in and become prevalent in their lives. One might ask “real love?”  I think the best way to describe here what I am talking about here is to use a scene from the 1998 Brad Pitt Movie Meet Joe Black

Setting the scene Joe Black is speaking to Quince about his wife Allison’s love for him and asks

“ But Allison loves you?”

Quince nods

Joe Black  “ How do you know? ”

Quince “Because she knows the worst thing about me and it’s okay”

In a single sentence I think Quince was able to sum up love and marriage.  It is work, a marriage is built on the foundation of love but do not kid yourself you will be tested over the years.

As a cinematographer I wonder how many couples actually sit down and listen to their ceremony and vows and really hear and I mean, “hear” what is being said. I guess as a wedding cinematographer I have the luxury of not only hearing them at every wedding but also I have the pleasure of hearing them while editing, going back and forth through them several times in great detail for each and every event. To be honest I still get choked up every time I hear a new couple’s vows and think to myself I hope my couples get what it really means to be married and what it will take to make it through. It takes work and sacrifice, but the reward for this is beyond measure. I don’t think there is a wedding that I’m a part of that I don’t remind the bride and groom that the wedding is a celebration of the beginning of their Marriage not the marriage being a follow-up to the Wedding.

So the real question is still there, is love alone enough? Well it all depends on what you categorize as love.  No matter how you look at marriage a foundation of love has to be present in order for it to be as rewarding as it can be. Have there been loveless marriages in the past? of course there have but in the 21st century I don’t think that there are many who see marriage in that manner. Love has to be present and it has to be forgiving.  Love has to be coddled and allowed to evolve. You will see that it will grow as you grow and should be expressed in many manners. Just saying it isn’t enough. So how does one show Love? I have learned that it is different for each of us, and knowing how your significant other views it is as important as it is to know how you need it expressed to you. Here is where the real work comes in, make sure you know these things and you stay on top of it because as you grow your love will need to evolve. There will be days you are sidetracked and may even question your relationship, my best recommendation on those days are to pull out your wedding video and listen to your vows. Really listen to what is being said and remember why you are both here. No longer are there two separate lives but instead one life, make the most of it and work at keeping that love strong and alive. 


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